doing the math


I have now finished 4 chemo treatments out of 12, so I am 1/3 of the way finished.  (Who says you can’t teach an English teacher to do math?)  I feel like I am really starting to feel it now.  At first it was kind of like, “Oh, yeah, I’m going to get some medicine and it’s going to suck for a few weeks but then I’ll be all better!”  And now I have really to dig my heels in for the long haul.  But that’s okay, ’cause I got this.  I just have to remember to cut myself some slack every once in a while.  I’m not going to be able to sit and do homework for my entire treatment session, I’m not going to feel like cooking on the nights I’m home (not that I ever do!), and it’s totally fine to take a nap every day.  Actually, I think if everyone in the world took a nap every day, it would be a much nicer place.  But that’s just me.

So at my treatment last week, my neutrophils were up a little bit (yay!) but not enough for me to stop wearing the mask (boo!).  My doctor said they will most like go up and down all throughout my treatment.  Up and down are, of course, relative terms.  I don’t anticipate my white blood cells going high enough for me to leave off the mask until treatment is done.  But hey, whatever keeps me out of the hospital, right?  Maybe I’ll set a new fashion trend.

Here’s another fun number: 17.  That’s how many pills I take every day.  Fewer if I’m not feeling too nauseated, though lately I’ve had to keep some food on my stomach practically all the time to keep the nausea at bay.  Which leads to this number:

12.  That’s how many pounds I’ve gained!  In 8 weeks!  I’m blaming it on the steroids and the pumping of large amounts of fluid into my body.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to have to work it back off when this is all over.  Hopefully that number doesn’t go too much higher.  Last semester I lost 30 and was getting pretty close to pre-pregnancy weight (okay, I was in the same ballpark).  So I don’t want to have to start all over again.  But if this journey has been about anything, it’s definitely been about learning to let go and just do the things I DON’T want to do…you know, for my own good.  Like taking meds that make me eat like a man.

2.  That’s how many precious little people like to rub my head every night before bedtime.  They are such sweet little munchkins when they want to be.  🙂  They have dealt with this entire situation with such calmness and grace, and they are my constant reminders that there are much more important things in this world than me.

525,600.  That’s how many seasons of love you have all shown to me.  Thank you so much, AGAIN, for the kind thoughts, words, prayers, gifts, and cards.  I am truly blessed.


6 responses »

  1. I love reading your updates. You are so strong and know even when you don’t feel all that strong that we are all praying for you anddoing our part to lift you up! Love you!

  2. There’s only ONE Kristi and you’re handling all of these obstacles with grace, patience and an amazing outlook. It’s no surprise that your sweet babies are being so wonderful either – they have two of the greatest parents in the world. Keep being kind to yourself, sweet cousin! Sending you lots of love from New York. -Molly & Danny

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